heart dies

Lately, I'm having frequent loss of feelings. As if my heart dies and I no longer have any feelings. I don't feel hate, love, happy, or sad. I just feel like walking on with my life and going through it until my time come. When a speech was held at school couple of days ago, and everyone started crying and hugging, I just sat there staring at a blank space, a drop of tears rolled down my cheek but I don't give it a damn. Everyone was hugging but I just sat there, staring at blank space, hugging back the two friend that came to me, knowing my sadness but might not notice my emptiness.

I read about it once. It's called depression. But I'm not sure it is, because there are times I do laugh and smile. Or maybe that's just all another act that I try to lie myself with. I don't know. Most probably, I already get to the point where I don't care what I feel anymore. I just go with the flow and try not to end my life before it should.